There is so many things I wanna say or tell you. But you will say I bo liao.

I simply don’t understand you.

我想要說…….I really miss you

我想要說…….I really want you to be happie

我想要說…….I have tried my best

我想要說…….I have always put your interest first

我想要說…….I really want to take care of you for the rest of my life

我想要說…….I will do anything for you

我想要說…….I can give up anything and everything for you

我想要說…….I dont want to lose you

我想要說…….I want you

我想要說…….I want your love

我想要說…….

如果没有了你
我该如何往下走
那一秒钟
有没有发现我倔强里的问候
怎么劝我放手
在这一切之后
整夜的风
冷得我手颤抖
你在温暖的那头
熟悉路口
再一次的路过
等在那角落的人已不是我
默写你的爱过
坦承自己脆弱
对白怎么说
表情才不难过
在这一切

我想要說…….I LOVE YOU

Budaoweng is dying: 4 days left.

下雨天了怎么办
我好想你
不敢打给你
我找不到原因
什么失眠的声音
变得好熟悉
沉默的场景
做你的代替
陪我听雨滴

期待让人越来越沉迷
谁和我一样
等不到他的谁
爱上你我总在学会
寂寞的滋味
一个人撑伞
一个人擦泪
一个人好累

怎样的雨怎样的夜
怎样的我能让你更想念
雨要多大天要多黑
才能够有你的体贴

其实没有我你分不清那些
彻别接近还能多一些
别说你会难过
别说你想改变
被爱的人不用道歉

期待让人越来越疲惫
谁和我一样
等不到他的谁
爱上你我总在学会
寂寞的滋味
一个人撑伞
一个人擦泪
一个人好累

怎样的雨怎样的夜
怎样的我能让你更想念
雨要多大天要多黑
才能够有你的体贴

其实没有我你分不清那些
彻别接近还能多一些
别说你会难过
别说你想改变
被爱的人不用道歉

怎样的雨怎样的夜
怎样的我能让你更想念
雨要多大天要多黑
才能够有你的体贴

其实没有我你分不清那些
彻别接近还能多一些
别说你会难过
别说你想改变
被爱的人不用道歉

Its been raining very regularly recently. And it don’t seems to stop as to me it meant to kill me.

In this kind of weather, I miss you even more. many times I wanna pick up the phone and call you or sms you. But what can I say or what should i say? What will your reaction be? will you answer? Will you response? Will you reciprocate?

怎样的我能让你更想念

The day is drawing nearer and I can sense that you don’t even have a single clue about it.

Hide away from you is xin ku for me. Open up to you this is the result I get. It seems that I am fated to fight this alone, all by myself. I know you do not know what to do but hey so am I! I guess I can only learn to fight this and get over it.

You know, it’s not easy and never will be easy to forget you let alone letting you go.

ITS GONNA BE A LONG LONG PAINFUL JOURNEY FOR ME.

However

I have no regrets.

I LOVE YOU.

Budaoweng is dying: 7 days left.

我的眼光该去向何方
失去你的日子渺渺茫茫

我可以假装微笑假装无伤

你还想我吗
像我现在想你一样

有没有一个充分的理由
让我忘你不会牵强

叫我不想你也难

为何无法对你从此遗忘

叫我不爱你也难
你是我的最爱
叫我不爱你也难

放开你的手才了解什么叫迷茫

Days without you am so lost and helpless. I smile to cover up my sorrow and pretend that I wasnt hurt. I put on a brave front and fight the world by myself.

Do you  think of me like I am thinking of you now?

I just couldn’t forget you because till this day you are still my only love.

Only after I let go of you then I understand what is the real meaning of confused.

Budaoweng is dying: 14 days left.

是谁狂妄地占据我的心
不让我有一丝的空隙
天天相见却无时不思念
夜夜相依却留下哭泣的你是你再度回到我的身边
混乱我原有的平静
不得不说出我的思绪
结局依旧是分离在激情过后我分析我自己
竟是不敢告诉你依然爱你
在激情过后我空虚不已
分离只是为了让你回忆

Out of a sudden remember this old song.

Ya, what you left behind are the memories that will linger on my mind for life. I don’t understand why you have to stir me up when I have already settle down.

The passion you gave, you took back.

Thanks for reading my posts and frequent visit to my blog. Thanks also for your comments though majority of it I didn’t approve but I still kept it.

However, please do not jump into conclusion or comment things that you are not sure or don’t even know about it. I have friends walking up to me asking me questions when they themselves don’t even read my blog!!! So hush hush. Really nothing ain’t that grand to spread.

I am doing this to protect that particular person I loved whole heartedly, and that is my didi. He is an innocent party and whatever I wrote were all my thoughts and feel. He don’t know. In fact he don’t read my blog.

We happen to be very close and I insisted that he be my didi. Nothing much nothing less and so please do not try and read in between the lines. I know what I wrote could be very emo, very “relationship” type of issue, problem, but hey thats me. It has got nothing to do with him.

So, he is not gay and yes, we are not a couple and I am not the jilted one.

He is just my beloved didi that I love whole heartedly.

Envy? Jealous?

Be my guest.

Thank you.

Budaoweng aka didi de only gege.

黑暗中静静搂紧自己
孤单有谁明白
难过懒得再去管
泪要不要流下来
我也只好默默啃蚀寂寞
留着痛灌溉

Miss you day and night and even when I am with you

This love  to you is unconditional, trust me.

I just hope you be happie always even when i am not around.

 We had cleared several mis understanding and I really hope we can continue being so understanding and feel for one another more than last time. To you I may have not done a good job last time but to me, I did just that the methods were wrong and expectations were different. Our relationship is very new to you and you might not know how to handle . I know you didn’t give up cos you know I was real and truthful and very serious about us.  In fact I do not know how to handle too.

Now that you are in a relationship you have to put in more time and effort and its difficult to juggle your time, I promise I will not complain!! I am ok. Cos this relationship I believe is getting stronger.  I just feel  that now we have somehow have a better understanding le so I believe things won’t be so complicated. Though I said all this but hey somewhat I feel that we gone through so much but now I have to be even more understanding and accommodating  cos your time with me will be very little and I don’t think you have the heart and time to have a good Herat talk with me. That I will use time to make myself accept it. In fact, I believe its only right to share most important thing with your girlfriend.

I know you need alot of love and the kind of love i give might not be the one you need. But you can feel it I am sure.

I am lucky in the sense that I know quite a fair bit on things about you and glad that you shared it with me. please do not stop as you did stop for many times le. In fact most of the things  I actually heard from people around you.

I am not jealous, I am happie you are in a relationship that you found someone whom you can love back. However, somehow or other I feel lost. This is so cos I know you won’t have time for me le.

I do not know how long we gonna last, I just hope it won’t end. At least not so soon or even if we have to end it, it should be a peaceful one without grudges and hatred but with good fond memories.

Just want to assure you, rain or shine, I am always here for you, didi.

Season change people change, I won’t change. You know that.

Budaoweng is dying: 24 days left.

你让我的软弱陪伴你的自由

since you left le, why you still left behind so much love in my heart? it can’t be filled up anymore and can’t be taken away completely.

i reckon your day not too good but i know not totally because of me. i am never a factor to you.

weather is real bad, take care, wear warm and remember to take your asthma medicine,

when you going to school?

Budaoweng is dying: 40 days left.

当我们擦身而过那短短一秒钟
都明白什么都变了
一转身谁能把感慨抛在脑后
在事过境迁以后
这感情就算曾经刻骨且铭心过
过去了又改变什么

我不难过了甚至真心希望你能幸福
当我了解你只活在记忆里头
甚至原谅你的残忍理由
浓情爱恋都已陌生了

当我从你眼中发现我已是陌生人
我已是陌生人了

when it actually started? i know. the closeness and the bond has long gone.  we have different priorities in life and we heading different directions all this while.  you can never come into my world nor you allow me to enter yours. what has become of us and i can only conclude that our fate ahs ended.