Filed under: Uncategorized
Hello everyone,
Thanks for reading my posts and frequent visit to my blog. Thanks also for your comments though majority of it I didn’t approve but I still kept it.
However, please do not jump into conclusion or comment things that you are not sure or don’t even know about it. I have friends walking up to me asking me questions when they themselves don’t even read my blog!!! So hush hush. Really nothing ain’t that grand to spread.
I am doing this to protect that particular person I loved whole heartedly, and that is my didi. He is an innocent party and whatever I wrote were all my thoughts and feel. He don’t know. In fact he don’t read my blog.
We happen to be very close and I insisted that he be my didi. Nothing much nothing less and so please do not try and read in between the lines. I know what I wrote could be very emo, very “relationship” type of issue, problem, but hey thats me. It has got nothing to do with him.
So, he is not gay and yes, we are not a couple and I am not the jilted one.
He is just my beloved didi that I love whole heartedly.
Envy? Jealous?
Be my guest.
Thank you.
Budaoweng aka didi de only gege.
Filed under: No Regrets
黑暗中静静搂紧自己
孤单有谁明白
难过懒得再去管
泪要不要流下来
我也只好默默啃蚀寂寞
留着痛灌溉
Miss you day and night and even when I am with you
This love to you is unconditional, trust me.
I just hope you be happie always even when i am not around.
We had cleared several mis understanding and I really hope we can continue being so understanding and feel for one another more than last time. To you I may have not done a good job last time but to me, I did just that the methods were wrong and expectations were different. Our relationship is very new to you and you might not know how to handle . I know you didn’t give up cos you know I was real and truthful and very serious about us. In fact I do not know how to handle too.
Now that you are in a relationship you have to put in more time and effort and its difficult to juggle your time, I promise I will not complain!! I am ok. Cos this relationship I believe is getting stronger. I just feel that now we have somehow have a better understanding le so I believe things won’t be so complicated. Though I said all this but hey somewhat I feel that we gone through so much but now I have to be even more understanding and accommodating cos your time with me will be very little and I don’t think you have the heart and time to have a good Herat talk with me. That I will use time to make myself accept it. In fact, I believe its only right to share most important thing with your girlfriend.
I know you need alot of love and the kind of love i give might not be the one you need. But you can feel it I am sure.
I am lucky in the sense that I know quite a fair bit on things about you and glad that you shared it with me. please do not stop as you did stop for many times le. In fact most of the things I actually heard from people around you.
I am not jealous, I am happie you are in a relationship that you found someone whom you can love back. However, somehow or other I feel lost. This is so cos I know you won’t have time for me le.
I do not know how long we gonna last, I just hope it won’t end. At least not so soon or even if we have to end it, it should be a peaceful one without grudges and hatred but with good fond memories.
Just want to assure you, rain or shine, I am always here for you, didi.
Season change people change, I won’t change. You know that.
Budaoweng is dying: 24 days left.
Filed under: No Regrets
you should know no one can take over your place in my heart. this is because my heart is full of you. anyway you wont know.
since you left le, why you still left behind so much love in my heart? it can’t be filled up anymore and can’t be taken away completely.
i reckon your day not too good but i know not totally because of me. i am never a factor to you.
weather is real bad, take care, wear warm and remember to take your asthma medicine,
when you going to school?
Budaoweng is dying: 40 days left.
Filed under: No Regrets
Filed under: EmoDK
当我们擦身而过那短短一秒钟
都明白什么都变了
一转身谁能把感慨抛在脑后
在事过境迁以后
这感情就算曾经刻骨且铭心过
过去了又改变什么
我不难过了甚至真心希望你能幸福
当我了解你只活在记忆里头
甚至原谅你的残忍理由
浓情爱恋都已陌生了
当我从你眼中发现我已是陌生人
我已是陌生人了
when it actually started? i know. the closeness and the bond has long gone. we have different priorities in life and we heading different directions all this while. you can never come into my world nor you allow me to enter yours. what has become of us and i can only conclude that our fate ahs ended.
Filed under: EmoDK
i said i wanted some time to cool off. longer time.
this is because what we are doing now is killing one another. at least i feel it this way
i know i can’t let go cos you are too important to me than myself. and wanted to carry on. just that i wanted to find a best way for us. i wanted to be fair to you and wanna make sure i do not hurt you anymore. can you do the same to me? would you or this has never been bothering you?
time is all i needed.
but how long? i don’t know. will i change and give in? no.
one thing i am sure is the care will stay. the worry will remain. the love for you will never die.
can you wait for me and me alone only?
Filed under: EmoDK
our communications is getting from bad to worst. i do not know how we come to this stage. whatever i said or do it just very eye sore to you and irks you like shit. you do not listen to what i said anymore and really doubt my intention. i do care and worry and will always be. this is because i love you, silly. it hurts to see us like that. i really need to re-position myself again where do i stand in your heart. your resentment is building and you are gonna thrash it out with me.
i can only conclude, we really cannot .
you need me when you need me. other than that i have to be invisible. i can only know what you want me to know and nothing much nothing less. i can only care to a minimum over that is overboard and you will retaliate. i cannot worry about you because you think i think too much and link stories. i cant sms or call you because that is not trust you.
what can i do?
i still want us.
Filed under: EmoDK
好久不見
熟悉的那一条街
只是没了你的画面
我们回不到那天
你会不会忽然的出现
我多么想和你见一面
看看你最近改变
不再去说从前只是寒喧
对你说一句只是说一句
好久不见
Really, didn’t see you for very long le?
Do you miss me?
I don’t think so.
You never miss me at all.
I know, I know.
Filed under: EmoDK
你是自由的
你心是灰色的
她是永远的
我是附属的
我是错误的
我是透明的
The little sweet sms you sent me really make my day.
Can you also be so sweet?
Can you always be so nice?
Can you ?
